Thanks, John, my @##! That's my call!

Here's the story, folks:
Just before dawn yesterday, I heard a noise in my house. I grabbed by trusty .38 and headed down the hall, still half asleep. The next thing I knew, I woke up bound and gagged and those two hillbillies were searching my house for that box. I heard Billy Bob say, "I got it! The boss is gonna be happy!" and I heard them running out the door. They were gone in a flash-or rather a puff of oil smoke. They had the biggest---no, wait---SECOND BIGGEST---ears I've ever seen on anybody!
Tom