Our family has been over whelmed with the prayers, well wishes and concerns by you guys here. It's comforting for us to know that he had so many friends and helped so many people. We can't begin to thank you enough. A lot of you got to know my dad through this forum and built friendships with him, more than I knew, as a matter of fact. I just don't feel that an obituary does the man justice. While many of you knew him through the internet and phone, I want to write this so that some would know the man I knew before and after his illness. This is lengthy, but please bare with me, I feel he deserves better then a short paragraph.
My dad was born in Clanton Alabama in 1955. His dad worked construction and his mom kept up the home front. At 17 he had to quit school and go to work to help support the family. At 19 he married my mom. They moved to Mobile AL, where he and his dad owned a construction business. They specialized in restoration of historic homes and high end carpentry. Scott, my brother was born 1978 and I came along in 1981. In 1985 my dad felt called to go into the ministry. Feeling unprepared he felt led to attend seminary. After finishing his GED and being accepted into NOTBS he sold everything we had minus his truck and some furniture and moved the family to New Orleans. He felt this was the opportunity of a lifetime and received his B.S in theological studies and Psychology. He later finished his Masters and Specialist in Theological studies. During this time he worked 3 jobs, and went to school full time. After finishing his degree he went on to pastor several churches.
Many people remember what they want to and fill in the rest with self serving half truths. I hope that by the end of this you will realize that is not the case here. My dad had faults like everyone. When he was younger he was quick tempered. He could be defensive, he was bullheaded and sometimes short sighted. When angry, he had a sharp tongue and often times said things before thinking or realizing what he had said, but he was not afraid to say I'm sorry. Growing up I thought he was demanding and often times overboard in his way of thinking about what was right and wrong. I was never one to argue with my dad or go against what he wanted or thought was right. Mainly, because I knew that I would have to pay the piper, and I didn't want to go through the collection process. He was not the frail man you guys have seen in pictures or have heard on the phone. That is not a knock, because the person never changed, the physical appearance did though. He was 6'4 the better part of 260 and up through my child hood and you did not want to be on the receiving end of what was coming if you crossed him.
Above any of that he was the most solid character, respectful man I have ever met. In the world we live in today where everyone compromises to get ahead I can honestly say I never saw him once compromise his principles or what he thought was right. It's easy for someone to say that when faced with minor consequences. Growing up the son of a preacher you become jaded pretty quickly toward "church folk" and their true intentions. You learn early that to get along you have to go along. That is a pretty simple concept that most to subscribe to, not daddy. There were two times he was faced with a decision during his ministry that would have a heavy impact on our family, financially and otherwise, depending on his choice. Both times he would not bend his principles in the least or go against what the Bible says to appease a board of deacons or anyone else. We ended up moving, changing schools, leaving friends and starting all over again. At the time I thought our family suffered from it. Looking back, I learned more from him and about him through that then any amount of talking could have taught. People say that you can judge a man by what he does when no one is around. Over the last 7 to 8 years I have been fortunate enough to spend a lot of time with my dad. I can honestly say, that he was just a good person, even when no one was looking. It sounds simple, but when you get down to it, there aren't many honest to God good folks left anymore. He expected more from Scott and I. Regardless of what we did or who we were around he expected us to be the best. He used to tell Scott and I if we were gonna be a trash truck driver be the best trash truck driver there is. Don't lie to anyone or for anyone. Regardless of what you do, do it with everything you have. Never compromise your principles or character and never back down. More than any of that he taught me how to be a good father and husband through watching him. He seldom let life get in the way. He always put his family first. His entire life he did without so he could give us the things that he didn't have growing up. Don't get me wrong, he worked us in the dirt, but he would do anything in the world for us or anyone for that matter. He was the best man I knew. In everything he did, he lived what he taught us. He didn't cut corners and he didn't accept mediocrity.
My brother and I went into business using his two most basic principles; tell the truth, and do the right thing. It's amazing how far ahead you get in life doing these two simple things. I can never sum up all the things he taught me. I owe everything I am or have to him and my mom. I will miss him and I'm sure over time it will get easier, but it's tough to handle right now. He has left the greatest legacy to us that any man can hope to leave his family. I am certain of my salvation, and his faithfulness and commitment to raise my brother and I right led to that. I owe him more than I can ever repay him.
Long story short, the world is a worse place without him. Personally, I am heart broken but I have a peace about it. Selfishly I wish that he was still here and I would give anything for one more conversation with him. I hate that my kids won't have that influence on their life. My oldest son and he developed a very close relationship. To the point that had I done the things my son pulled I would not be able to walk due to belt marks. I hope that I can be half the husband, father, friend and man that he was. He was the greatest man I ever knew.
