Twas the night before Christmas and all though the house,
I was surfing Osage Roost by clicking on the mouse.
I turned on the tv and popped in a DVD to see all those
huge longbeards Harold Knight had promised me.
I made some hot wings and grabbed a cold beer,
but wishing I had BBQ tenderloins from a tender young deer.
I looked out the window across the moonlit snow with glee,
HOLY COW, there was 8 big bucks standing underneath the tree.
I grabbed the 30-06 and started the sneak,
because I knew the game wardens were all asleep.
I tip-toed across the yard and raised my gun with hope,
all of a sudden, there was a some big fat guy in my scope.
I said to the man, "you’re lucky you’re not dead."
"You almost had a 180 grain in your head."
The old man looked at me and said, "You know who i am, Hoss."
"I’m the dude from the north pole they call Santa Claus."
Then I thought about the kids and felt like a dumb hick,
I didn’t want to be the one who shot old Saint Nick.
His sleigh was so full I asked if he needed a hand,
because I was hoping for a gun or new tree stand.
He told me to be quiet so we didn’t wake up Ma,
as he look at the garage and asked if I had a saw.
I knew what he was doing and made a bold prediction,
he needed to make some changes because of Antler Restriction!
He told his reindeer about some bad luck,
that all you deer will soon be a small forked horn buck.
He cut with care each antler one by one,
those reindeer were all mad after he was done.
He made each deer wear a bullet proof vest,
because he knew his next stop at Porter’s house would be a mess.
Have a Merry Christmas all!!!
