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Author Topic: Slightly....CONFUSED!  (Read 385 times)
GR8CALLS
Boss Tom
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« on: May 24, 2014, 11:27:50 AM »

Long ago, in the days of colonization of the African continent, an eager young engineer went to the Serengeti to build a bridge. While he was there, it became incumbent on him to also take on the role of lion killer to keep his workers safe. After having a measurable amount of success, he was invited to join a most prestigious group -- The Great White Lion Hunter's Society! A distinguished, older, pit-helmeted gentleman with a drooping handlebar mustache brought the invitation by personally and regaled him with stories of the other memberís feats and adventures. He explained to the young engineer that an invitation to join the Society was indeed an honor and that to join, he would need a sponsor. The older gentleman said that he would be honored to sponsor him, but he would have to go through an initiation just like everyone else. Well, the young man was elated and eagerly agreed to join.

Two weeks later, on the night of the next full moon, the young engineer found himself sitting around a campfire in the courtyard of a small thatch-hut village. All the members were dressed in native loincloths and grass anklets and adorned with claw necklaces from their adventures. They had their faces painted and some wore headdresses to make them look like the majestic animal they respected so much and had given them such challenges so as to regale their social contemporaries back in the home country. After a delicious meal, brief business portion of the meeting, and great entertainment complete with dancers and drums, the old gentleman stood and raised his hands to quiet the raucous crowd.

After several moments, he spoke in a clear, distinguished voice. "There is one visiting among us, tonight, who would like to become one OF us. It would be my honor to present him for initiation and your acceptance for membership into our great society." After some murmuring and nods of agreement, he continued, addressing the young engineer. "Your initiation is quite simple. You have only THREE small tasks to complete. Behind me, you see three huts. In the FIRST hut, there is a sealed fifth of the finest whisky that must be drunk.

"In the SECOND hut there is a lion with a bad tooth that must be removed.

"And in the THIRD and final hut, there is an amorous woman who must be satisfied."

"Are you ready to take on these challenges?"

The young man had been wide-eyed and amazed at all that he had seen and been told that night and wanted more than anything else to become a member of such a prestigious society. He stood and eagerly, but respectfully accepted the quest.

He stepped into the first hut and closed the door. The courtyard was silent. They heard the seal being broken and the cap hit the bamboo floor. This was followed by the sound of glugging as the bottle was upturned. As the tension mounted, the members started cheering him on with whoops and hollers. The drums began and slowly intensified their beat and rhythm. There was more glugging,... and sputtering,... and coughing! The crowd increased its support in volume as the drums increases their tempo... and then all went silent. The members heard the sound of the empty bottle hit the floor and then the door burst open. The wild-eyed young man braced himself in the doorway, took a bead on the next hut, and launched himself toward it weaving and stumbling the whole way.

He entered the hut and the tension again built with the members, for he was now faced with the king of beast and this one was in a foul mood. If he could survive this, he was indeed a man to be reckoned with and his reward would be great in the next hut.

Immediately, they heard the lion roar. They all stared in quiet amazement as the hut shook to its foundation. The lion roared! The young engineer roared back!, the hut shook! The thatch roof flopped! Dust flew! The sound was deafening and built to a great, ear-piercing crescendo as the lion wailed in submission... or was it satisfaction? Then all went silent.

They all watched the door with baited breath. Not a word was spoken! Not a sound was made. They began to worry and started to murmur among themselves when the door finally burst open, spilling the young engineer into the courtyard. He lay there for a moment, then started to gather himself up. With much determination, he finally stood erect. His clothes were shredded as he stood there, bloody and exhausted! He looked around at the rest of the membership, swaying both from the whisky and the exertion of his last accomplishment, knowing that he need only complete one more task and he would be a full member and slurred:

"OK! Wheere'sh that woman with the baaad tooth !?"

Bill
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I'm not shy.......I'm just studying my prey!!!

The True Measure of A Man Will be Found in His Words and Deeds!

If The Enemy is in Range......So Are You!
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