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Author Topic: Best divorce letter..think twice!  (Read 867 times)
Blackfalcon
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« on: August 23, 2013, 05:28:30 PM »

Dear Wife, Iím writing you this letter to tell you that Iím leaving you forever. Iíve been a good man to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it. These last 2 weeks have been heck. ... Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today & that was the last straw. Last week, you came home & didnít even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You donít tell me you love me anymore; you donít want to do anything that connects us as husband & wife. Either youíre cheating on me or you donít love me anymore; whatever the case, Iím gone. Your EX-Husband P.S. donít try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!

óóDear Ex-Husband Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. Itís true you & I have been married for 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what youíve been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping Too bad that doesnít work. I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was ĎYou look just like a girl!í Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you canít say something nice, I didnít comment. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago. About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still & I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning. After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica But when I got home you were gone.. Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you wonít get a dime from me. So take care. Signed, Your Ex-Wife, Rich & Free!
P.S. I donít know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope thatís not a problem.
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jmck
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Twisting Creek Calls


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« Reply #1 on: September 13, 2013, 01:52:32 PM »

 oops  Rolling On The Floor
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GR8CALLS
Boss Tom
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« Reply #2 on: September 14, 2013, 09:28:33 PM »

OH....... Poo      Peeper Peeper Peeper Peeper Peeper Peeper Stupid

 It pays to talk w/ each other, once in a while!!!!!
« Last Edit: September 14, 2013, 09:29:20 PM by GR8CALLS » Logged

I'm not shy.......I'm just studying my prey!!!

The True Measure of A Man Will be Found in His Words and Deeds!

If The Enemy is in Range......So Are You!
AlanKrow
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« Reply #3 on: September 15, 2013, 12:14:04 PM »

 Rolling On The Floor Rolling On The Floor
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