Author Topic: Best divorce letter..think twice!  (Read 1870 times)

Offline Blackfalcon

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Best divorce letter..think twice!
« on: August 23, 2013, 04:28:30 PM »
Dear Wife, I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you forever. I’ve been a good man to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it. These last 2 weeks have been heck. ... Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today & that was the last straw. Last week, you came home & didn’t even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don’t tell me you love me anymore; you don’t want to do anything that connects us as husband & wife. Either you’re cheating on me or you don’t love me anymore; whatever the case, I’m gone. Your EX-Husband P.S. don’t try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!

——Dear Ex-Husband Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It’s true you & I have been married for 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you’ve been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping Too bad that doesn’t work. I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was ‘You look just like a girl!’ Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can’t say something nice, I didn’t comment. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago. About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still & I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning. After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica But when I got home you were gone.. Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won’t get a dime from me. So take care. Signed, Your Ex-Wife, Rich & Free!
P.S. I don’t know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that’s not a problem.

Offline jmck

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Re: Best divorce letter..think twice!
« Reply #1 on: September 13, 2013, 12:52:32 PM »
 oops  ROTFLMBO

Offline GR8CALLS

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Re: Best divorce letter..think twice!
« Reply #2 on: September 14, 2013, 08:28:33 PM »
OH....... *poo*      *peep* *peep* *peep* *peep* *peep* *peep* *stu*

 It pays to talk w/ each other, once in a while!!!!!
« Last Edit: September 14, 2013, 08:29:20 PM by GR8CALLS »
I'm not shy.......I'm just studying my prey!!!

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If The Enemy is in Range......So Are You!

Offline AlanKrow

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Re: Best divorce letter..think twice!
« Reply #3 on: September 15, 2013, 11:14:04 AM »
 ROTFLMBO ROTFLMBO