Osage Roost

General Forum => General Discussion => Topic started by: GR8CALLS on June 06, 2011, 07:34:56 PM

Title: How to spend the next stimulus check from the government.....
Post by: GR8CALLS on June 06, 2011, 07:34:56 PM: Sometime this year, we taxpayers will again receive another 'Economic
Stimulus' payment.

This is indeed a very exciting program, and I'll explain it by
using a Q & A format:

Q. What is an 'Economic Stimulus' payment?

A.. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.

Q.. Where will the government get this money?

A. From taxpayers.

Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?

A. Only a smidgen of it.

Q. What is the purpose of this payment?

A. The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a
high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.

Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China ?

A. Shut up.

Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the U.S. economy by
spending your stimulus check wisely:

* If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, the money will
go to China or Sri Lanka ..

* If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to the
Arabs.

* If you purchase a computer, it will go to India , Taiwan or
China ..

* If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico ,
Honduras and Guatemala ...

* If you buy an efficient car, it will go to Japan or Korea ..

* If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan ..

* If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock, it will go
to management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.

Instead, keep the money in America by:

1) Spending it at yard sales, or

2) Going to ball games, or

3) Spending it on prostitutes, or

4) Beer or

5) Tattoos..

(These are the only American businesses still operating in the U.S. )

Conclusion:

Go to a ball game with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a yard
sale and drink beer all day!

No need to thank me, I'm just glad I could be of help.

Bill
Title: Re: How to spend the next stimulus check from the government.....
Post by: AlanKrow on June 06, 2011, 08:15:17 PM: ROTFLMBO ROTFLMBO *lol* *cheers*
Title: Re: How to spend the next stimulus check from the government.....
Post by: Daryl on June 06, 2011, 08:53:04 PM: *lol* *lol* *lol*
Title: Re: How to spend the next stimulus check from the government.....
Post by: trb136 on June 06, 2011, 08:55:53 PM: PRICELESS!!!!!!!! *lol* *lol*
Title: Re: How to spend the next stimulus check from the government.....
Post by: jmck on June 06, 2011, 09:17:39 PM: A solid plan Bill
Our great government at work....for us ??? ???
Title: Re: How to spend the next stimulus check from the government.....
Post by: B-Ready on June 06, 2011, 09:42:13 PM: *lol* That's good stuff Bill !! *lol*
Title: Re: How to spend the next stimulus check from the government.....
Post by: doepee on June 06, 2011, 09:46:00 PM: *lol* *lol* *aah*
Title: Re: How to spend the next stimulus check from the government.....
Post by: muddpuppi on June 06, 2011, 10:25:38 PM: Bill ya left out BUY MORE TURKEY CALLS..... *cheers* *cheers* *cheers* *cheers* *cheers* *cheers* *cheers*
Title: Re: How to spend the next stimulus check from the government.....
Post by: M Sharpe on June 07, 2011, 07:04:57 AM: Quote from: muddpuppi on June 06, 2011, 10:25:38 PM
Bill ya left out BUY MORE TURKEY CALLS..... *cheers* *cheers* *cheers* *cheers* *cheers* *cheers* *cheers*

Craig, that was exactly what I was going to say. But, there again, a lot of these woods are exotics. So there we go stimulating someone else's economy. We can win for losing.
Title: Re: How to spend the next stimulus check from the government.....
Post by: Turkeycaller on June 07, 2011, 12:56:21 PM: USA *cheers* USA *cheers* *aah* *cheers* *aah* USA *cheers* *fall* *peep* *peep* *peep*
Title: Re: How to spend the next stimulus check from the government.....
Post by: Old Geezer on June 07, 2011, 03:35:42 PM: I can't wait for my $$$$$. I took out a payday loan with a real American Indian who lives on an obscure American Indian reservation. Sure it's expensive. Hope the $$$ gets here fast so I can pay him back. ::)

The Geezer
Title: Re: How to spend the next stimulus check from the government.....
Post by: Shadetree Callers on June 07, 2011, 05:19:02 PM: Now that is funny stuff Bill !!
Title: Re: How to spend the next stimulus check from the government.....
Post by: jmck on June 07, 2011, 07:18:46 PM: Craig
Hammer hits nail man *lol*
Title: Re: How to spend the next stimulus check from the government.....
Post by: muddpuppi on June 07, 2011, 09:56:47 PM: we need to stamp our calls MADE IN THE USA.....and Mark unfortunatley you are right... :-\
Title: Re: How to spend the next stimulus check from the government.....
Post by: BOB_HARWELL on June 07, 2011, 10:48:35 PM: I don't drink beer. Will a Coke be ok?

BOB
Title: Re: How to spend the next stimulus check from the government.....
Post by: Bulldogmikey on June 08, 2011, 06:20:13 AM: Nan....I am so screwed! Can't get out....mama would kill me if I got a TAT, and don't drink! Oh yeah, the prostitute, I probably give her money and say go home....to Russia!

Mike