Osage Roost

General Forum => General Discussion => Topic started by: GR8CALLS on April 20, 2010, 03:02:54 PM

Title: How To Spend That Stimulus Check........
Post by: GR8CALLS on April 20, 2010, 03:02:54 PM
Sometime this year,  we taxpayers will again receive another 'Economic
Stimulus' payment.

  

    This is indeed a very exciting program,  and I'll explain it by
using a Q & A format:
  
  
    Q.  What is an 'Economic Stimulus' payment ?
  
    A.  It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.
  
  
    Q..  Where will the government get this money ?
  
    A.  From taxpayers.
  
  
    Q.  So the government is giving me back my own money ?
  
    A.  Only a smidgen of it.
  
  
    Q.  What is the purpose of this payment ?
  
    A.  The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a
high-definition TV set,  thus stimulating the economy.
  
  
    Q.  But isn't that stimulating the economy of China ?
  
    A.  Shut up.
  
  
    Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the U.S. economy by
spending your stimulus check wisely:      
  
  
          
  
        *  If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart,  the money will
go to China or Sri Lanka .
  
  
        *  If you spend it on gasoline,  your money will go to the
Arabs.
  
  
        *  If you purchase a computer,  it will go to India , Taiwan or
China .
  
      
  
        *  If you purchase fruit and vegetables,  it will go to Mexico ,
Honduras and Guatemala ..
  
      
  
        *  If you buy an efficient  car,  it will go to Japan or Korea .

  
    
  
        *  If  you purchase useless stuff,  it will go to Taiwan .
  
    
  
        *  If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock,  it will go
to management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.
  
  
    Instead,  keep the money in America by:
  
  
    1)  Spending it at yard sales,  or    
  
    2)  Going to ball games,  or  
  
    3)  Spending it on prostitutes,  or    
  
    4)  Beer or    
  
    5) Tattoos.
  
  
    (These are the only American businesses still operating in the U.S. )



    Conclusion:
  
    Go to a ball game with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a yard
sale and drink beer all day !

  
    No need to thank me,  I'm just glad I could be of help.  

 
 Bill



 

 
Title: Re: How To Spend That Stimulus Check........
Post by: Bulldogmikey on April 20, 2010, 03:06:50 PM
That, is cool! Not that I approve of that behavior or anything!!!!   *aah* *aah* *aah*



Mike
Title: Re: How To Spend That Stimulus Check........
Post by: wiltznucs on April 20, 2010, 03:54:16 PM

Spending it on prostitutes  


 *aah*
Title: Re: How To Spend That Stimulus Check........
Post by: Gitzit69 on April 20, 2010, 04:15:23 PM
Go to a ball game with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a yard
sale and drink beer all day !
 ROTFLMBO ROTFLMBO ROTFLMBO ROTFLMBO
Title: Re: How To Spend That Stimulus Check........
Post by: Turkeybuster on April 20, 2010, 05:10:14 PM
Good post Bill I think I am going to spend mine on some American made Turkey Calls then I know the money went to good American people and in turn will put meat on the table. Just my idea of sparking the American economy.
Jon
Title: Re: How To Spend That Stimulus Check........
Post by: turkey stew on April 20, 2010, 05:15:42 PM
Good post Bill I think I am going to spend mine on some American made Turkey Calls then I know the money went to good American people and in turn will put meat on the table. Just my idea of sparking the American economy.
Jon
USA USA USA USA *up* *up* RkLu RkLu *cheers*
Title: Re: How To Spend That Stimulus Check........
Post by: Zumer on April 20, 2010, 05:18:59 PM
Good post Bill I think I am going to spend mine on some American made Turkey Calls then I know the money went to good American people and in turn will put meat on the table. Just my idea of sparking the American economy.
Jon

Jon,

         I like the way you think..... *up*
 
          So can I borrow some $$$ till my stimulus check shows up?  ROTFLMBO

         
Title: Re: How To Spend That Stimulus Check........
Post by: BigTomsCalls on April 20, 2010, 05:25:15 PM
I'm going to spend mine on AMMO that way I can give it back to them with interest when they come and try to take my guns!! >!!
Title: Re: How To Spend That Stimulus Check........
Post by: Turkeybuster on April 20, 2010, 05:42:52 PM
Good post Bill I think I am going to spend mine on some American made Turkey Calls then I know the money went to good American people and in turn will put meat on the table. Just my idea of sparking the American economy.
Jon

Jon,

         I like the way you think..... *up*
 
          So can I borrow some $$$ till my stimulus check shows up?  ROTFLMBO


Any time Zips.
Jon
         


Title: Re: How To Spend That Stimulus Check........
Post by: TLSelf on April 21, 2010, 06:59:14 AM
I'm going to spend mine on AMMO that way I can give it back to them with interest when they come and try to take my guns!! >!!

 *up*  *up*

Todd
Title: Re: How To Spend That Stimulus Check........
Post by: Old Geezer on April 21, 2010, 10:16:10 AM
Bill,  Thanks for the suggestion.  Yeee Haaa, I'm on my way! 

Do you think I can get a prostitute over 60?   *dance*

The Geezer
Title: Re: How To Spend That Stimulus Check........
Post by: John from NY on April 21, 2010, 03:29:46 PM
Hey Bill, I think I'll spend mine on IVORY!!!! *aah* *aah* RkLu RkLu
Title: Re: How To Spend That Stimulus Check........
Post by: Gitzit69 on April 21, 2010, 03:40:23 PM
Bill,  Thanks for the suggestion.  Yeee Haaa, I'm on my way! 

Do you think I can get a prostitute over 60?   *dance*

The Geezer
Now that's a thought I could have done without *aah*
Title: Re: How To Spend That Stimulus Check........
Post by: callmaker69 on April 21, 2010, 04:42:46 PM
Good post Bill I think I am going to spend mine on some American made Turkey Calls then I know the money went to good American people and in turn will put meat on the table. Just my idea of sparking the American economy.
Jon











AMEN! *up*